The truth beneath it all…
You have a breakthrough, you feel calmer, you release emotional tension, and have an amazing “aha” moment. You think…”This is amazing!” I’m going to tap everyday. Until you don’t.
Disbelief starts to creep in. We tell ourselves, This doesn’t work for me. I don’t believe it can really help me with my problem. I’m probably not doing it right. Besides, it takes too long. If it really worked, more people would be doing it.
Can you believe I’ve thought all these exact same things too? And this is what I do for a living!
I saw the miracles of EFT “Tapping” every single day with my clients, but when it came to my own practice, I had such a hard time sticking with a regular routine. In fact, it wasn’t until a year ago that I made it a regular daily practice and actually began to get excited to do it. I know, crazy right?
The belief was there, but my doubt was stronger. I made a ton of excuses why it wouldn’t work for me when it worked for others. Even with all the success stories of mine and my clients, and the scientific studies with shocking statistics of how it helps with anxiety, depression, sleep, pain, and motivation, it’s like I had amnesia. How could I know how well it worked and then be in such a place of doubt and resistance?
It all changed when I connected with one of my mentors who admitted she struggled with the same problem for quite some time, and she was a practitioner a lot longer than I was. I thought if she felt this way and was able to love her practice, then I could too.
She helped me get into my blindspots that I kept missing. Because the excuses I was telling myself like it didn’t work or I didn’t have time, or I wasn’t doing it right were total B.S. I knew deep down that none of that was true, but I wanted it to be true (unconsciously of course) because it was protecting me from the real reasons.
See, underneath all our excuses is change. We may consciously want to change and feel better, but subconsciously, we don’t like change. Our brains are wired to avoid pain and discomfort, so it’s easier to stick with the known discomfort than what is unknown (even if it’s the right thing to do). Hello self-sabotage and procrastination!
Here’s what I was missing and what you might be missing too.
- Have a reality check. Accept and acknowledge how you currently feel including all your excuses. Tap the points while allow yourself to voice the thoughts that have been rolling around in your head. It may feel like you’re having a pity party and that is 100% right. You can’t get anywhere without accepting where you are now. You’re not resigned to it, but it is your honest feeling currently.
- Focus on what you do want. When we tap, we focus on the problem – the obstacle in the way of what we actually want. This is right, but we also need to know where we’re going. If you don’t know how you actually want to feel, then you’re just running your brain in circles and it stays in the loop of not wanting to change. Ask yourself how you would like to feel instead. Once that is clear, then you will direct your brain where to go instead of being lost in the problem. The point is not to force yourself to feel better when you’re in a funk, but to direct your brain on what you’d like to feel eventually. Tap the points while stating how you’d like to feel. I like to add that I’m currently feeling (yucky feeling), but I’d like to feel (good feeling) eventually. That is the truth and we always tap on what is congruent.
- Let yourself be frustrated with your problem. Yes, I do mean get angry. When we deny that we are frustrated, annoyed, upset and gloss it over with a Pollyanna attitude, we are not being true to ourselves. Do a rant and tap and let yourself be frustrated that you have this problem, that you even have to deal with it, that it’s caused you so much pain. Let the anger be voiced as you process it with the tapping. The point is not to stay here forever, but if you don’t express it, you’re just suppressing it.
- Ask yourself if you’re being a victim or empowered. This was an important one for me and can be a triggering topic. Yes, each of us have had our unique experiences where we truly were victims and helpless in a situation. As adults, we are responsible and capable of making better decisions for our lives and I like to pose this question for myself as an honesty/reality check. Am I really helpless and trapped or am I just feeling that way? Then I ask, how would I act if I was feeling empowered in this situation? You can tap while you’re asking these questions as it does clear the mind and allow other thoughts and answers to come through.
- Bring in gratitude for both the current situation and the resolution. Listen, struggle is part of life. We cannot know joy or freedom without feeling pain and suffering. There are so many lessons learned through hard times, and it wouldn’t be a human experience without struggle or stress. The caveat is if we stay in the struggle, deny it, or don’t want to feel better, we are not learning or growing from it. Once I started being grateful for my struggle AND for what I’m becoming, the biggest shifts started to happen. It was the same for my mentor. Tap through the points as you allow gratitude to come through for the current situation, the support that is there and on its way and the lessons you are learning. Bring in gratitude for how far you’ve come and for the past versions of you that made choices based on what you needed to do at that time. Bring in gratitude for the potential version of you that has already been in your shoes and appreciates you doing the work now. Then bring in gratitude for the things that are going right in your life.
That is the kind of tapping that made me fall in love with my practice, myself and all my growth.
I’m curious how this landed with you and would like to know where you struggle with your personal tapping or other healing modalities. I’d love to hear from you so I can offer more insight and solutions based on the pulse of the community.
Compassionately,
Vannessa